Top 25 Post-Gay Songs of 2008

A lot of websites have their own “Best of 08” but in my eyes most of them tend to be pretty flawed. For example:
Rolling Stone will be pretty good for the most part, but out of nowhere will throw in some lame song by the Jonas Brothers and subsequently the list loses all credibility. Spin magazine will essentially regurgitate the same list as Rolling Stone, but will change up the order a bit and include a couple of bands you’ve never heard of before. Finally Pitchfork’s list will be filled with bands from Canada/Iceland that will never play in a venue near you and at the same time belittle you for your taste in music.
My list however acknowledges and celebrates what they gay boys dance to whilst out clubbing in WeHo as well throw in a few non-danceable songs for everyday listening. So here we go:
***************************************************************************
25 – 1234 (Van She Remix) by Feist
By the end of 2007 all of us had already heard the album version thanks to that iPod commercial. But this remix (now available on iTunes) brings out something new in the song that even the club crowd can enjoy.


24 – White Winter Hymnal by Fleet Foxes
Proof that not everything Post-Gay kids listen to is dance remixes of semi-popular folk songstress’. This song despite its simplicity is really beautiful featuring sweet harmonies. The video is probably one of the cutest of the year.


23 – Human by The Killers
Yes, I know I just bashed Brandon Flowers in a previous post, but you have to admit this song is pretty gay. From the dance beat to the lyrics (Are we human or are we dancer?), there’s no denying the gayness here. To gay it up even more check out the Armin van Buuren dance remix.
Sidenote: Universal disables embedding on their videos. They’re lame!


22 – I’m Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How to Dance With You by Black Kids
Personally I’m not a big fan of the song, the synths are a little over done for my taste and the faux-British accent is a little too much to handle. However @AngryFaggot threatened to kill me if I didn’t include this, as it is one of his faves of the year.
Bonus Post-Gay Lyric – “You are the girl that I’ve been dreaming of ever since I was a little girl” sung by a boy.


21 – Machine Gun by Portishead
When I first heard that Portishead were getting back together and releasing a third album (appropriately titled Third) I came a little. I’ve been a fan since my High School days when I used to sing Sour Times (Nobody Loves Me) all to myself. Hopefully a new generation of Post Gay kids will be able to enjoy the same misery I did when I was 16.


20 – DVNO by Justice
Sure it was D.A.N.C.E. that got your toes tapping but it was DVNO that got your ass moving. Even though the album was realeased in ’07 this was technically released as a single in ’08 so deal with it!

JUSTICE - DVNO
by justice

19 – Campus by Vampire Weekend
This gem of an album contained so many good songs, it was hard to pick one for this list. Campus is a recent fav. of mine about young love and a cock-blocking professor. What’s not to love?


18 – Violet Hill by Coldplay
When Coldplay released their debut album back in ’01 I was all over it. Then as Chris Martin made it is his personal goal to be the next Bono I started to dislike them, especially after the snooze-fest that was X&Y (just my opinion). This song makes you forget that, if only a little bit. It also reminded me of why I liked them in the first place, now if only the rest of the album was this good.
(Bonus Points for taking a jab at Fox News in the lyrics)

Coldplay - Violet Hill
by wonderful-life1989

17 – Touch Me I’m Going to Scream Part II by My Morning Jacket
The impossible happened, My Morning Jacket wrote a song you can actually dance to without it requiring a remix. Plus the video is totally rad too.

More Videos

16 – Crimewave by Crystal Castles vs. Health
I had this album on my iPod for quite sometime, but I hadn’t really listened to it until Angryfaggot plugged it in my car and started playing it, that I knew this song belonged on the list. Doesn’t offer much in the lyrics department, but that can be forgiven.

Crystal Castle Crimewave
by Differentrecordings

15 – Lovegame by LadyGaga
Forget about the fact that Christina Aguilera has been ripping her off, or the fact that she thought LadyGaga was in fact a dude. All you have to know is this:
“Lets have some fun this beat is sick, I wanna take a ride on your disco stick”


14 – Acid Tongue by Jenny Lewis
I was a big fan of her first solo record (well, it kinda was a solo record), I even saw her live at the Glasshouse. This song sort of reminds me of that album, and it almost feels like the Watson twins are harmonizing with her. Le sigh.


13 – Set it Off by Girl Talk
Jay-Z rapping over Radiohead’s Paranoid Android? OMG! Probably the best and most unlikely mash-up ever! Oh yeah, the other three minutes are also pretty rad.


12 – Cape Canaveral by Conor Oberst
Whether it’s his work with Bright Eyes , Desaparecidos, or other artists Conor Oberst never ceases to amaze me. This is the opening track of his first realease without longtime collaborator Mike Mogis. I was really happy to see that guy from my hometown of Visalia, CA plays guitar on this album.


11 – Cobrastyle by Robyn
The only thing I love more than my iPhone is a girl who could most likely beat me up. And when I hear Robyn telling me that she’d rather push a trigger than my buttons, well I pee a little. Oh, and I personally think she sounds better Live on Letterman that she does on record.


10 – Womanizer by Britney Spears
Someone asked me not to include Britney on this list, and I’ll be honest I sincerely considered it as I am not really much of a fan. But after hearing a little bit of M.I.A.’s Boyz (inspiration) in the chorus I kind of had to. I haven’t heard much from Britney, but I’m gonna take a wild guess and say that this is probably one of her better songs.

Britney Spears - Womanizer (Clip Video)
by Britney_Jean_Spears

9 – Shove It by Santogold
Remember what I said about Robyn? Well the same thing goes for Santogold, except tenfold. And honestly, I really wouldn’t mind it if she kicked my ass. This song really makes you forget the Karen O, Pixies, and M.I.A. comparisons and just lets you enjoy her as an individual.


8 – I Thought I Saw Your Face Today by She & Him
I know many a gay boy who would go straight for Zooey Deschanel, in fact I know of at least two girls who would go lesbian for her as well. In all honesty, this is probably one of the most beautifully crafted songs of the year. Plus it totally made it ok to whistle in a song after Peter Bjorn and John whistled our ears to death with Young Folks.


7 – Gold by Emmylou Harris
Gasp! A country song on this list? Think about it, how many break ups do gay guys go through in their lifetimes? Plus Dolly Parton sings back up, so how could it not be on the list?


6 – God Has a Voice She Speaks Through Me by CocoRosie
Just when I thought the Cassiday sisters couldn’t get any gayer, they started listening to Cher… that, by the way is a good thing.


5 – Ulysses by Franz Ferdinand
A late entry in this list. It seems everytime Alex Kapranos sings about a guy, he either really wants to dance with him or reminisces about blowing him. Here he just wants to get high with him, and possibly take advantage of him later. That last part may just be wishful thinking.


4 – St. Exquisite’s Confessions by of Montreal
This probably has the best opening line of any of the songs on this list (I’m so sick of sucking the dick of this cruel cruel city). I know Kevin Barnes is married and has a child, but his lyrics are all over the place, when it comes to sexuality. I think he likes it that way. ☺


3 – Kim & Jessie by M83
Young love again, this time in France with a pair frolicking through their own imaginary world… oh, did I mention both of them were girls? Personally I prefer the album version, but the single is still really good. Just forget the last part of the video.


2 - Give it 2 Me by Madonna
Like a good gay kid, I went out and bought this album on the release date (along with Portishead’s album which was released the same day). I gave it one listen and forgot about it. It wasn’t until I saw her live in Las Vegas back in November that I realized just how good this song actually was. The Neptunes’ production is top notch, proving once again that Pharrell is much better behind a console than he is behind a microphone.
BTW, this totally deserves the Grammy for best Dance Record.

Madonna - Give it 2 me
by Mister-1

1 – Blind by Hercules and Love Affair
The last thing I expected to hear from Antony Hegarty (my fav transgender singer) was a disco song. Honestly, I had to listen to this song twice for me to wrap my head around the fact that Antony was singing. Andy Butler is a genius for putting all of this together.
Bonus Antony Trivia – When Bjork first heard him on record, she thought he was a black woman.

Am I the only one who thinks this is kind of hot?

...I swear I don't have daddy issues, really!

Post-Gay Non Sequitur

Anyone who can manage to date Joanna Newsom and still find time to hi-five a bob-cat is alright with me.

Joe Solmonese is My President

After hearing about President-Elect Obama's poor choice for the inauguration I couldn't help but feel like I was slapped in the face by the man I had supported for the past several months while living in a predominantly Republican area (Orange County, CA). Unlike a lot of people, my anger is not directed towards Rick Warren. He has not done anything out of the ordinary in my opinion. No, my anger and disappointment is directed at Barack Obama for HIS terrible choice. I have gone out of my way to defend my reasons for supporting him, as individuals berated him simply because of his race and his name. Many of us in the LGBT community also contributed money to his campaign as we saw that this country needed a great leader after our current one drove us deep in the ground with debt and war. I understand that as a small time blogger there is not a whole lot I can do to get across to him, but I really feel that HRC President Joe Solmonese has stepped up to the challenge by writing the following in an Editorial in the Washington Post...

*************
"It is difficult to comprehend how our president-elect, who has been so spot on in nearly every political move and gesture, could fail to grasp the symbolism of inviting an anti-gay theologian to deliver his inaugural invocation."

Noting that the Obama team’s answer to criticism over Warren had been to point out that the inauguration was also slated to include a GLBT marching band.

Wrote Solmonese, "You know how the gays love a parade."

Citing Warren’s involvement in the promotion of the anti-gay California ballot initiative that revoked the existing right of gay and lesbian families to marry, Solmonese continued, "[I]nviting Warren to set the tone at the dawn of this new presidency sends a chilling message to lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender Americans.

"It makes us uncertain about this exciting, young president-elect who has said repeatedly that we are part of his America, too."

Added Solmonese, "What the Obama team needs to understand is that for many LGBT Americans, this November was bittersweet.

"We were thrilled with Obama’s victory and, in fact, many of us worked the phones, pounded the pavement and wrote checks to make that happen.

"But the next day, we learned that Proposition 8 passed in California, and our hearts sank. It was the biggest loss our community has faced in decades."

Solmonese continued, "One of the biggest reasons for that hurtful outcome was the Rev. Rick Warren, who publicly endorsed Proposition 8 in late October.

"He told his parishioners and reporters alike that ’any pastor could be considered doing hate speech if he shared his views that he didn’t think homosexuality was the most natural way for relationships.’

"But civil marriage rights for same-sex couples had nothing whatsoever to do with religion."

Added the HRC president, "He may cloak himself in media-friendly happy talk that plays well on television, but he stands steadfastly against any measure of equality for LGBT Americans."
*********

Well said Joe. So until Obama either offers a REAL explanation or apologizes, I will be displaying the following as my profile image. I'm not asking you to follow in my footsteps, this is just my response to it.

Irony...

The fact that a prop 8 supporter looks a lot like a dude in a dress... just sayin' is all.

Politicians we wish were gay...

Recently I asked my Twitter followers to tell me which politicians they wished were gay and why.  Here are their responses.

1 - Rahm Emmanuel

Not only does this guy get stuff done, but he has a unique way of going about it.  This is what Wikipedia had to say about a certain incident:
"On the night after the 1996 election, "Emanuel was so angry at the president's enemies that he stood up at a celebratory dinner with colleagues from the campaign, grabbed a steak knife and began rattling off a list of betrayers, shouting 'Dead! ... Dead! ... Dead!' and plunging the knife into the table after every name."

Now imagine having him on our side, I'm pretty sure we would've managed to persuade a few bigots to vote against the bullshit that was Prop 8.

2 - Gavin Newsom

I had several people tweet me suggesting Gavin Newsom. Not only because of how empathetic he's been to the gay community in San Francisco, but because of how handsome he is. I have yet another reason, he's related to one of my favorite musicians. Joanna Newsom! Either way we srsly need to get him elected for governor. I mean, come on people we have Arnold Fucking Schwarzenegger as our governor!!! Come On California!!!

3 - Dick Cheney

(you know I had to post this pic)

Probably the best reason for Cheney's appearance on this list was written by @vinneyt who wrote:
"i wish dick cheney was gay cause then he would,ve shot more ppl in the face"


You know you'd pay to see that facial!

Post Gay Non Sequitur

This little guy doesn't seem very friendly.

This should be considered animal abuse

Poor Barney, he should really bite whoever came up with this idea.

Post Gay Playlist - 2008 Omissions

I know I haven't posted the list yet, but I decided to write this post to explain why certain songs didn't make my list before the questions came in.

1) Katy Perry - I Kissed a Girl

Despite having received Perez Hilton's seal of approval I dont really feel like this song qualifies to be on the list. It's not because it's cheesy pop (which it is) it's because the lyrics aren't very Post-Gay at all. Especially this part:
=======
You're my experimental game
Just human nature,
It's not what,
Good girls do
Not how they should behave
My head gets so confused
==============

To imply that lesbians aren't "Good Girls" isn't exactly the type of thing that screams Pro/Post Gay. Besides, take the lyrics away and its still just really cheesy pop.

******************

Agree/Disagree? Post your thoughts on the comments. :)

More Songs To Follow...

Post Gay Non Sequitur

This is probably the best use of a Justice song and Pokemon clips.

Question of the Day - Vol. 2

Today's question comes from Brad in Huntington Beach, CA.

Q -


Dear Post Gay Post, I've been attending a lot of parties with my bro's lately and there's this one really hot guy who I really just wanna get with. How do I break the ice and let him know I wanna get freaky wit him?

Post Gay Answer

First of all, do you know he's gay? Because if you're barking up the wrong tree, it's best not to get your feelings involved and find another "Bro" to go out with. You should start off slow, invite him to your place for a Family Guy marathon or something to that effect and see where that takes you. Also, if he is gay make sure you don't use alcohol to seduce him, Bro-Raping is NEVER cool.

Ego's are a turnoff, and NOT PostGay!

It's nice when you've accomplished something, and an added bonus is when ppl come up to congratulate you on your success. But there seems to be a line that several people have crossed. I'll mention an example. Brandon Flowers of "teh Killerz". Back in 2004, Flowers and Co released "Hot Fuss" a pretty good album which recieved quite a bit of attention and critical acclaim.


Obviously the pressure was on to meet or exceed the success of their debut. So what does he do? He proceeds to shit-talk about legends in the music industry (as well as up-and-comers) and how he wants them to worship at his feet. He even went on to say that Radiohead's last few albums have been nothing but noise (BLASPHEMY!!!) and that his upcoming album "Sam's Town" will go down as the best album of the past 20 years.

So, what do they give us? This steaming pile:

Apparently they managed to ask their guitar player to pose in a swimsuit and goat decided to show up just for kicks.


So... where am i getting to with this rant? Well, a few minutes ago I stumbled upon a blog featuring an article I was mildy interested in. It wasn't until took a closer look at the blogger's bio that I realized I could read no further. He fucking toots his own horn so much it made my eyes bleed.

SRSLY? Who calls themselves a "Six-Figure Blogger" and an "Internet Business Evangelist"
what a douchebag!


**UPDATE**
here's the URL:
http://www.davidrisley.com/

I has a sad

How many of you give other people gifts on your birthday? Well, I do. I was born on Christmas day, THE worst day ever to be born on, which usually means I feel something like this.

The First Post-Gay iPhone Game?

I would have to say, YES! The only thing that kept me sane while I was serving jury duty on Monday was my iPhone, and had this game been released before then I would have been able to spread the PostGay wealth to the rest of the courthouse! I mean just freakin' look at it!

Totally worth the ten bucks!


Rolando - Launching December 18th for iPhone and iPod touch from ngmoco:) on Vimeo.

Question of the Day - Vol. 1

From time to time I receive questions via Twitter or other sources. Today's question comes from a shy young man from Connecticut.

Q:


My girlfriend and I are considering bringing in a third party into our bedroom. Now, I'm for it, but I'm wondering if having another man in there will make me gay. Please Help!

Post Gay Answer:

It's only gay if your balls touch, see picture below...

Learning how to wrap presents is über Post Gay!

It's that time of year again bitches, but instead of paying some condescending kid at your local dept. store to do the wrapping for you, learn how to do it yourself! Afterwards you'll feel very accomplished that you might even jizz in your pants!

The Origin of the Post Gay POST...

More or less...

Bush is Pretty Damn Kinky!

This makes me wonder if he gives Laura "The Shocker", he is from Texas after all.

see Sarah Palin pictures

He MUST have seen this pic before...

I'm too sexy for your court case

Well...

today was a total bust. After waiting for several hours to see if the judge needed me to service him *wink wink nudge nudge*, he walks over to the room where they were holding us to let us know we're dismissed. Apparently the defendant plead guilty and is getting ten years. I should mention that even though Patrick Fitzgerald didn't show up the judge more than made up for it. He was fucking HOT!!!

I still <3 Patrick though.

Whatevs, It's so not Post-Gay to be a size queen anyway.

Post-Gay injustice system!!!

I am writing this post far and away from my normal dwelling (about 260 miles north actually). You see, I grew up here in Central California after my parents decided to shelter us from the kinky/materialistic ways of Los Angeles (where I was born). A little over three years ago I decided to move back to SoCal to seek fame and a skanky girlfriend, much like douche-bag extroirdanaire Spencer Pratt.


After a year long stint in Pasadena I decided to move to Orange County after finding a pretty cheap room in a nice house, and I've been pretty much laying low ever since. But about four months ago I received a jury summons, not at my current residence but at my parents house.


I should go on to explain that I haven't lived with my parents since I was 18 (I'm 25 now), so why the County still has that old address on file is beyond me. Being the responsible citizen that I am, I filled out the survey explaining that I have not been a resident of the county for over three years, and that I have been living in Orange County for the past two. Seeing as how "I am no longer a resident of the county" was listed as one of the reasons why I would no longer be required to serve, I thought nothing of it and went on my way. About a month later, my sister leaves me a voicemail telling me it's urgent and that I should return her call ASAP. Well apparently the county never received my survey and were kinda pissed at me. Having been a victim of the Post Office's carelessness several times before, I decided to give the county a call to clear this mess up. Well... the nice lady *sarcasm* wouldn't hear any of it. She basically told me that it didn't matter that I hadn't lived in the county for over three years, I still had to get my tight little ass (very true) over here and serve my civic duty.

So here I am, ready to serve tomorrow morning.

ugh!

Sorry if this post doesn't sound intersting/inspired, I'm still prett tired from the 3.5 hour drive.


****************
would it be too much to ask to have US Attorney Patrick Fitzgerald present?

mmmmmm... that would make it all worthwhile!

Post Gay Non-Sequitur

eh.

The award for most Irish name ever goes to...

Patrick Fitzgerald! Who looks like he he's about to S--- C--- in this pic. Is it wrong that I find him strangely attractive?

Enough to turn a Straight Man Gay

I've been very vocal in the past about my love for Tim Gunn. Check the video to see why:


Yummy!