Top 25 Post-Gay Songs of 2008

A lot of websites have their own “Best of 08” but in my eyes most of them tend to be pretty flawed. For example:
Rolling Stone will be pretty good for the most part, but out of nowhere will throw in some lame song by the Jonas Brothers and subsequently the list loses all credibility. Spin magazine will essentially regurgitate the same list as Rolling Stone, but will change up the order a bit and include a couple of bands you’ve never heard of before. Finally Pitchfork’s list will be filled with bands from Canada/Iceland that will never play in a venue near you and at the same time belittle you for your taste in music.
My list however acknowledges and celebrates what they gay boys dance to whilst out clubbing in WeHo as well throw in a few non-danceable songs for everyday listening. So here we go:
25 – 1234 (Van She Remix) by Feist
By the end of 2007 all of us had already heard the album version thanks to that iPod commercial. But this remix (now available on iTunes) brings out something new in the song that even the club crowd can enjoy.

24 – White Winter Hymnal by Fleet Foxes
Proof that not everything Post-Gay kids listen to is dance remixes of semi-popular folk songstress’. This song despite its simplicity is really beautiful featuring sweet harmonies. The video is probably one of the cutest of the year.

23 – Human by The Killers
Yes, I know I just bashed Brandon Flowers in a previous post, but you have to admit this song is pretty gay. From the dance beat to the lyrics (Are we human or are we dancer?), there’s no denying the gayness here. To gay it up even more check out the Armin van Buuren dance remix.
Sidenote: Universal disables embedding on their videos. They’re lame!

22 – I’m Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How to Dance With You by Black Kids
Personally I’m not a big fan of the song, the synths are a little over done for my taste and the faux-British accent is a little too much to handle. However @AngryFaggot threatened to kill me if I didn’t include this, as it is one of his faves of the year.
Bonus Post-Gay Lyric – “You are the girl that I’ve been dreaming of ever since I was a little girl” sung by a boy.

21 – Machine Gun by Portishead
When I first heard that Portishead were getting back together and releasing a third album (appropriately titled Third) I came a little. I’ve been a fan since my High School days when I used to sing Sour Times (Nobody Loves Me) all to myself. Hopefully a new generation of Post Gay kids will be able to enjoy the same misery I did when I was 16.

20 – DVNO by Justice
Sure it was D.A.N.C.E. that got your toes tapping but it was DVNO that got your ass moving. Even though the album was realeased in ’07 this was technically released as a single in ’08 so deal with it!

19 – Campus by Vampire Weekend
This gem of an album contained so many good songs, it was hard to pick one for this list. Campus is a recent fav. of mine about young love and a cock-blocking professor. What’s not to love?

18 – Violet Hill by Coldplay
When Coldplay released their debut album back in ’01 I was all over it. Then as Chris Martin made it is his personal goal to be the next Bono I started to dislike them, especially after the snooze-fest that was X&Y (just my opinion). This song makes you forget that, if only a little bit. It also reminded me of why I liked them in the first place, now if only the rest of the album was this good.
(Bonus Points for taking a jab at Fox News in the lyrics)

17 – Touch Me I’m Going to Scream Part II by My Morning Jacket
The impossible happened, My Morning Jacket wrote a song you can actually dance to without it requiring a remix. Plus the video is totally rad too.

16 – Crimewave by Crystal Castles vs. Health
I had this album on my iPod for quite sometime, but I hadn’t really listened to it until Angryfaggot plugged it in my car and started playing it, that I knew this song belonged on the list. Doesn’t offer much in the lyrics department, but that can be forgiven.

15 – Lovegame by LadyGaga
Forget about the fact that Christina Aguilera has been ripping her off, or the fact that she thought LadyGaga was in fact a dude. All you have to know is this:
“Lets have some fun this beat is sick, I wanna take a ride on your disco stick”

14 – Acid Tongue by Jenny Lewis
I was a big fan of her first solo record (well, it kinda was a solo record), I even saw her live at the Glasshouse. This song sort of reminds me of that album, and it almost feels like the Watson twins are harmonizing with her. Le sigh.

13 – Set it Off by Girl Talk
Jay-Z rapping over Radiohead’s Paranoid Android? OMG! Probably the best and most unlikely mash-up ever! Oh yeah, the other three minutes are also pretty rad.

12 – Cape Canaveral by Conor Oberst
Whether it’s his work with Bright Eyes , Desaparecidos, or other artists Conor Oberst never ceases to amaze me. This is the opening track of his first realease without longtime collaborator Mike Mogis. I was really happy to see that guy from my hometown of Visalia, CA plays guitar on this album.

11 – Cobrastyle by Robyn
The only thing I love more than my iPhone is a girl who could most likely beat me up. And when I hear Robyn telling me that she’d rather push a trigger than my buttons, well I pee a little. Oh, and I personally think she sounds better Live on Letterman that she does on record.

10 – Womanizer by Britney Spears
Someone asked me not to include Britney on this list, and I’ll be honest I sincerely considered it as I am not really much of a fan. But after hearing a little bit of M.I.A.’s Boyz (inspiration) in the chorus I kind of had to. I haven’t heard much from Britney, but I’m gonna take a wild guess and say that this is probably one of her better songs.

9 – Shove It by Santogold
Remember what I said about Robyn? Well the same thing goes for Santogold, except tenfold. And honestly, I really wouldn’t mind it if she kicked my ass. This song really makes you forget the Karen O, Pixies, and M.I.A. comparisons and just lets you enjoy her as an individual.

8 – I Thought I Saw Your Face Today by She & Him
I know many a gay boy who would go straight for Zooey Deschanel, in fact I know of at least two girls who would go lesbian for her as well. In all honesty, this is probably one of the most beautifully crafted songs of the year. Plus it totally made it ok to whistle in a song after Peter Bjorn and John whistled our ears to death with Young Folks.

7 – Gold by Emmylou Harris
Gasp! A country song on this list? Think about it, how many break ups do gay guys go through in their lifetimes? Plus Dolly Parton sings back up, so how could it not be on the list?

6 – God Has a Voice She Speaks Through Me by CocoRosie
Just when I thought the Cassiday sisters couldn’t get any gayer, they started listening to Cher… that, by the way is a good thing.

5 – Ulysses by Franz Ferdinand
A late entry in this list. It seems everytime Alex Kapranos sings about a guy, he either really wants to dance with him or reminisces about blowing him. Here he just wants to get high with him, and possibly take advantage of him later. That last part may just be wishful thinking.

4 – St. Exquisite’s Confessions by of Montreal
This probably has the best opening line of any of the songs on this list (I’m so sick of sucking the dick of this cruel cruel city). I know Kevin Barnes is married and has a child, but his lyrics are all over the place, when it comes to sexuality. I think he likes it that way. ☺

3 – Kim & Jessie by M83
Young love again, this time in France with a pair frolicking through their own imaginary world… oh, did I mention both of them were girls? Personally I prefer the album version, but the single is still really good. Just forget the last part of the video.

2 - Give it 2 Me by Madonna
Like a good gay kid, I went out and bought this album on the release date (along with Portishead’s album which was released the same day). I gave it one listen and forgot about it. It wasn’t until I saw her live in Las Vegas back in November that I realized just how good this song actually was. The Neptunes’ production is top notch, proving once again that Pharrell is much better behind a console than he is behind a microphone.
BTW, this totally deserves the Grammy for best Dance Record.

1 – Blind by Hercules and Love Affair
The last thing I expected to hear from Antony Hegarty (my fav transgender singer) was a disco song. Honestly, I had to listen to this song twice for me to wrap my head around the fact that Antony was singing. Andy Butler is a genius for putting all of this together.
Bonus Antony Trivia – When Bjork first heard him on record, she thought he was a black woman.


Dr Jared said...

WOW! You Rank HIGH in my books now!!!

misterkevin said...

Interesting overlap in our tastes. I really loved Machine Gun, too. Thanks for checking mine out. :p
Yours in hip queerness.

Anonymous said...

Anyone who can't spell "loses" loses all credibility to me.

Alan said...

the last guy who posted a comment really needs to get laid. Great list!